David G. Simmons


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What Do I Want?

To do really cool stuff, have fun doing it, and make you the cool kids.

When Do I Want It?

Now, duh.


I can literally build it, demo it and explain it to anyone, and make them want it more than they want ice cream.

Geek Speak

Java for days, C when it’s needed, Script-kiddie in Python, Bash, Javascript and a bunch more. Multi-lingual yo!

Hot Topics

  • Been killing the IoT since before there was an IoT, and waaay before it was 😎
  • So much energy I’ll wear you out
  • I do the hardwarez and teh softwarez
  • Your developers will love me

The 411 On The J-O-B

  • 2021: Camunda
  • 2020: QuestDB
  • 2017 - 2020: InfluxData
  • 2015: PsiKick, Inc
  • 2013 - 2015: Riverbed Technology
  • 2012 - 2013: Oracle
  • 2003 - 2012: Sun Microsystems Labs
  • < 2003: Hit me up, it goes way back

Yeah, I Can Demo That

  • To your C-Level Customers
  • To your Developers
  • To an audience of 20,000+
  • I don’t care if it isn’t fully baked yet, I’ll make it work

Talk To My Peeps

Check my rep on LinkedIn Or hit me up for more. People love me. It’ll be great. Really great.

All About The Benjamins

I’m not, but it usually is. You’ll think you can’t afford me, but then you’ll think I’m cheap at the price.

Location, Location, Location

No, I don’t live there. No, I can’t move there. No, it doesn’t matter. You’ll see.